The Ridiculousness of Radio

Since my car is in the shop, I have been driving my parents' car around the past couple days. In my car I have the Harman-Kardon Drive+Play so I can listen to my Ipod while I drive. As a side note, this is an amazing device and I recommend it to anyone with an ipod. Okay, my parents' car does not have an ipod adapter and I have not bought or made a cd in over 3 years, so I have been forced to listen to the radio, not satellite radio but good old fashion radio. After 2 days of this unbearable torture, I have one question: WHY WOULD ANYONE CHOOSE TO LISTEN TO THIS GOD FORESAKEN TECHNOLOGY THAT SHOULD BE EXTINCT BY NOW??!!



Although many of my complaints may be a result of my location, here they are anyway:

1. Commercials, commercials, commercials!! Not only do I find radio commecials incredibly annoying. Furthermore, has anyone really ever been listening to the radio, heard a product commecial, and thought to themself, "Holy shit, I have to go out and buy that!" Seriously, what company in their right mind would think they should participate in radio advertising? With the inception of the ipod and satellite radio the audience is much smaller and less diverse. I suggest that the only products that should be advertised on radio are products geared towards the elderly and soon-to-be-deceased. This also brings up my issue with "commercial-free"satellite radio. Bullshit. It is not commercial-free when every 3 songs you advertise for satellite radio. Fix it!
2. I hate it when you can scan through 10 stations and there is a commercial playing on every station. This happens all the time and it pisses me off.
3. This one may be a result of the stupid midwest city I live in, but if I hear another Nickelback or Hinder song playing on more than one station at a time, I'm going to drive my car into oncoming traffic. It really makes no sense to me why a radio station would choose to play this 13 year old girly rock on their station. Radio stations function because of advertising revenue and, the last time I checked, 13 year old girls do not possess a lot of buying power. Therefore, they are not a target audience of your advertisers so why would you choose to play this crap?...
4. ... and the answer is... because most, if not all, radio DJs have the mental capacity and mindset of a 13 year old girl who just found big brother's stash of meth. The worst perpetrators of this fact, morning radio show hosts. Maybe some people like peppiness when they wake up and maybe it helps them to wake up a little faster, but I'm going to guess that this overacted peppiness and energy makes a majority of the human race want to jerk the steering wheel right into a giant tree. It's unnecessary, your jokes aren't funny, your 'Jackass' type stunts aren't funny unless I can see you writhing in physical pain, your guests want to be sitting there talking to your dumb ass as much as you want to accept the fact that you are one step away from being mentally retarded, and I don't have a football game tonight so quit trying to act like a F#$%ing cheerleader at a pep rally!! You are 30 years old, grow up, put on a suit, and get a big-boy job!
5. My ipod does not cut out with static and I don't have to go find a new ipod with music I like because I drive through a tunnel.

These are just some of my complaints towards the ancient technology known as radio. I'm sure I have plenty more to write about but I have to go pick up my car from the shop because I choose to not be a victim of radio anymore! Seriously people, go out, spend a couple hundred on an ipod and a car adapter. I promise you, you will not be disappointed. You get to listen to what you want when you want, there are no commercials, there are no speed-addicted jackasses trying to hype you up in the morning, and you never have to search for another station.