Me vs. the Loaded Steakhouse Burger (Ohio Moo and the Kingdom of the turd burgers.)

The Loaded Steakburger- loaded with crispy, baked potato topping, bacon, A1 steak Thick & Hearty Steak Sauce and a slice of American cheese on top of a 100% Angus Beef patty. (Courtesy of BK.com.)

Friday, May 23, 2008
13:00- 14:00
Burger King

I'm not sure why anyone thought this was a good idea but it was mission accomplished after today. I wanna give a special thanks to the indestructible organ that is my stomach and to my brain for being able to rationalize its way into and out of any situation.

Ok, so I was actually terrified of ordering this monstrosity and after the hot cashier with the black eyeliner asked me if I grew up in a house with casseroles, I was petrified. But being the brave soul that I am, I soldiered on with my boss right behind me. We ordered the same thing, the Loaded, not the regular which looked decent, Steakburger. Upon unwrapping and seeing this "edible burger" face to face, I realized that I made a big mistake. Huge. This thing was almost the size of my head and looked like the insides of someones insides. Smelled like it too.

I took my first bite and wasn't sure. Second bite, okay. Third bite, what oh what have I done? I think that musta been the first bite with the baked potato topping on it. The sandwich was also boobie trapped which was only appropriate because Burger King is promoting the new Indiana Jones movie. A rogue piece of bacon weaseled its way out of the bun and slapped me in the face, leaving a trail of A1 Thick and Hearty slime on my cheek. Don't worry tho, I rassled that thang back where it belonged, on the floor. It was hot.

I can honestly say that the Baconator killed the Steakburger. Hands down.
No contest. At least now I know that. You definitely need something to cleanse the palate afterward, I recommend ice cream but stick to the soft serve.

Moo: 1; Sandwiches: 1
Up next: Me vs. the Big Buford.

Pics and video coming soon...

Charlie bit my finger - again !

Learned from the Pepsi Commercials

Me vs. The Baconator

The Baconator sandwich- is a hamburger sold by the international fast-food restaurant chain Wendy's. It is one of their late-teen–to–young-adult, male-oriented products. The Baconator consists of two 4oz. beef patties, two slices of American cheese, six strips of bacon, mayonnaise, ketchup on a premium bun. - Courtesy of Wikipedia

Morgan Moo Milla- the thrilla Killa from the Villa is a 27 year old, 104 lb lady who usually is a healthy eater but sometimes isn't.

Friday, May, 9, 2009
12:00- 1:00 pm
Wendy's

So, this has been building momentum for sometime now... the Baconator has been out in the world for just over a year and I was the last person in my office to sample it. Everyone talked of it's juicy, cheesy goodness but I was suspect. That and I simply am not a fan of bacon on my burgers. (I can't help it. I was dropped on my head as a child.) Several times I have been tempted by the call of the Baconator but each time I shot it down like a dude with a popped collar and a puka shell necklace. Today was different. I had to answer the door because destiny was a-knocking... and I had a date with that sandwich.

My boss, Dirt Nasty and another work friend, ZZ loaded up in the car and headed over to Wendy's... I couldn't eat it alone. I needed moral support. And witnesses. As we exited the car, I felt like soundtrack music should have been swelling in the background and that we should have been walking in slow motion. I stepped up to the plate and ordered that thang... with fries and a diet coke, natch. We sat down and I unwrapped it and the smell of it's bacony-cheesy goodness hit me smack in the face. I was ready. The first bite was, in a word, incredible. The second bite was reminiscent of a breakfast sandwich. And the third bite, well, I was wondering if I could eat another one at this sitting. I highly recommend the Baconator although I must say, it is not for the faint of heart... or weak of stomach. I am a human garbage disposal so it didn't do any immediate damage to this girl but if you gots the IBS or something, steer clear. You could have explosive rhea and be in the head for a while.

Another thing checked off the Summer of Fun 2008 list. Atta girl, Moo Moo. Atta girl.

20 Guidelines to a Successful Cult

The following guidelines are based on the stupidity and ridiculousness of some of the famous cults in history:

1. Don't bang underage girls
2. Don't bang married chicks
3. Don't do any weird sexual shit, Jesus didn't do it and your followers are going to catch on pretty quickly. Besides, you're the Messiah that is as good of a pickup line as any.
4. Don't take your followers' money, have them give it to the 'needy'. It makes you look greedy and really brings your intentions into question
5. Grow a beard
6. Don't make ridiculous claims, like the world is going to end on so-and-so day. When it doesn't happen your powers are going to become meaningless.
7. Whatever you do, make it appear that you always have less than your followers. You're the Messiah, worldly possessions need to appear meaningless to you.
8. Always wear sandals and robes. Messiahs don't wear Nike's and jeans.
9. If you have some effed up childhood, you're going to have trouble convincing others that you are who you say you are. Keep that stuff under wraps.
10. Don't use "I'm the Messiah" to justify weird shit.
11. Learn magic.
12. Look for people that have recently gone through tragedy. For the same reason the skinheads are always getting new recruits, tragedy and sadness make people incredibly gullible trusting.
13. Don't wear aviator glasses. At this point, it's pretty safe to say, David Koresh ruined this one for future cult leaders.
14. Don't have disabled followers or freaky people hang around you, a Messiah could cure these imperfections.
15. Dissenters only mean storms are ahead. Be prepared. Better yet, get better persuasion skills.
16. A degree in psychology or marketing is just as good as reading the Bible, religion is simply a tool of persuasion. There are several other things that can be used.
17. You must be skinny. Related to #7 you need to make it appear that your followers get way more than you and if you're fat and they are skinny, it's going to be difficult.
18. Don't do documentaries with National Geographic. Secrecy is a strength, use it.
19. Don't have your followers do weird stuff like have group suicides or kill people. Again, secrecy is a good thing and that stuff just gets you on the grid of the authorities.
20. Always talk in slow and soft tones. In no way can you come across as aggressive. Always seem nurturing.

Fraggle Rock. Spanish Opening

and just for Moo.

Fraggle Rock Intro

Back when everyone had HBO and HBO had kids shows on it.

Emma's Thoughts on Gas Prices

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msnbc.com: Tequila grows up, gets more expensive

Tequila grows up, gets more expensive
Over the last few years tequila, once favored by the less-than-salubrious denizens of Margaritaville, has really come of age.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24407985/from/ET/

 

I’ve been saying this for how long?