Thoughts

Ok, so here I sit on the brink of 27-ness with lots of thoughts flying thru my head. I had lots of time to think over the holiday weekend so I took advantage of the opportunity and came up with this...

- I need to do some growing up. This is not the first time I have had this realization but it is the first time that it has hit me this hard. I mean, I have made leaps and bounds from where I was a year ago but still... there's SO much room left for improvement and really, isn't there always? I think one can always improve themself because if not, we'd all be Buddha or David Beckham or Angelina.
- I wish I could date myself. I realize that a lot of my current behavior (or all of it) is brought on by 1 of 2 things: alcohol and boys SO if I could date myself that would eliminate half of the problem. Think about it... I think I'm good looking, funny, smart, etc. It's perfect. I like all the same things that I like, I don't want kids and neither does myself. I never don't call. I can satisfy myself. It's a shame I can't make it happen.
- I am a mean person. Really mean. I can't say that I have any regrets... well, in hindsight, maybe one but that's it and no I won't be sharing that with you. No one and I mean NO ONE knows about it and it's SO much better than way. Ok, now actually, yes I am mean but I think I've bought into the "idea" that I'm mean. I wasn't always this way but in my old age I've discovered that I've become a raging bitch. It's got to stop. I'm outta control aaaaand I digress...
- Cat vomit is disgusting.
- Drunk driving is never good and it WILL catch up with you.
- Gas and food should be free.
- I can't believe how much cash flow I've spent over the past four days and it's amazing how Target can make a bad day a great day. Seriously, it's like my porn or something. (Actually, websites like PerezHilton or Pinkisthenewblog are women's version of porn... whole nother blog.)
Let's hope that with the end of the year rapidly approaching, changes will be made. Skin will be toughened, hearts will heal, forgiveness will be easily given and things will become slightly more clear for me.

palabras...

hours too slow and minutes too fast
always apologizing for the same mistakes
it happens all too often and i can't make you see that it has nothing to do with you
i falter daily without realizing that it's my routine
falling from grace without a memory or a thought
uncomplicated from the blow and coming undone
but full of promise and rising to the occasion that is ever chasing me
a quiet numbness breathes life into my hurt and solidifies my aching
you elude my advances and cheat me out of my bad habits
they all lead me back to where i started
and it's no good but it's everything i know
seeking comfort in the familiar even though it feeds the beautiful mess that i've made
tangled up in the in between and the inside out
never letting on that it's you i miss

Something to think about...

Would you rather have a three-way with Scarlett Johansson and Samuel Alito OR Jenna Jameson and WWE's Batista?