Somewhere around 25 Bizarre becomes Immature: A List

The following is a list of activities that, although fun or amusing when you're 19-24, are not socially acceptable when you're 25:

1. Talking about donkey punching, turkey slapping, and anything related to hitting, punching, etc. to the other person during sex. It may have been funny to think about at the time, but at 25 you should be gettting sex regularly, so entertaining thoughts of weird sex acts because you're not getting any should not be necessary.
2. Alcohol Consumption and Alcohol Related Activities:
• Body shots. By the time you're 25 you should be drinking good liquor and pouring it all over somebody's body only to lick it off of them is a waste of good liquor.
• Shots. Again, related to the fact that you should be drinking good liquor. If you are a guy you should not be ordering anything less than whiskey or tequilla. That means the following shots are unacceptable: vodka, rum, any shot that includes anything that is not alcohol (i.e., grenadine, sour mix, juice, etc.--purple hooters, lemon drops, red headed sluts, etc. are all in this category), and anything that has whipped cream on it or in it (e.g., a blow job shot). Girls, if a guy you are with orders any of these shots you should a) question why you're with him or b) go home with the next nearest guy that is taking a real shot. Furthermore, short of a bachelorette party, there is no reason for a girl to take any of these shots either.
• Wine. Try it. There is far more alcohol out there besides beer and by now you should be smart enough to realize that wine has a higher percentage of alcohol and tastes better, especailly when paired with the right food.
• If you are 25 and still can't control your drinking and/or know when to cut yourself off you should not be drinking, so the following behaviors are no longer acceptable: punching, kicking, fighting, biting, or any other ridiculous physical behavior; one night stands or random hook-ups solely because you are 'drunk' and you 'don't know what you're doing'; passing out at bars or public places; boot 'n rally, puking and rallying, etc.; waking up with a stamp or mark on your face from the night before; going to work with a wrist band on; reaking of alcohol past noon the next day; smoking cigarettes only because you are drinking; uncontrollable emotional outbursts (i.e., getting angry for no reason, crying for no reason, etc.)
3. Tricking out your car. Just because Vin Diesel and Paul Walker were in their 30s in Fast and the Furious, does not make it cool to 'mod', 'trick out', or 'pimp out' your ride. Instead of wasting thousands of dollars on an exhaust and some neon lighting, spend the money and buy a big person car because, let's be honest, what are the changes you're going to race a quarter mile with someone? If you are street racing, you should probably jerk the wheel into on coming traffic the next time you race.
• This brings up the point that racing people from red lights or stops signs should never ever be done after your 25th birthday.
4. Dungeons and Dragons, Magic, and any sort of fantasy role-playing. At 25 you should be on your way to establishing some form of career and/or life, you should not need to find solace in pretending you're a wizard, troll, or whatever it is your weirdos pretend to be.
5. Anal Sex. See explanation for #1. Furthermore, at this point you should have had the opportunity to have atleast tried it. If you chose not to then that was your choice, but if you have then you should have realized that it's really not that great and if you still think it is and you're a guy you should probably spend some time at a turkish bath house... you know... "to just see what it's all about and maybe experiment" because chances are that you have some deep rooted issues that are preventing you from truly 'being yourself'.
6. Rollercoaster Relationships. Breaking up, getting back together again, and doing it all over again is something we do when we're in high school and college because we're learning about the dynamics of relationships. By this time, you should have at least one serious relationship under your belt and the period to learn how to break-up should be long past.
• When breaking up, things that should be avoided (and ultimately never enter your mind): seeking revenge (i.e., contacting your ex's family members, hooking up with friends of your ex, etc.). and name calling (break-ups happen, be a big boy and get over it).
7. Racism, sexism, and any other form of ignorance. You have now been alive a quarter of a centrury and have spent enough time in this world to hopefully be exposed to all walks of life, if you still have prejudices based on ignorance, get out more, go meet some people and start being an adult.
8. Not owning any dress clothes and/or the general inability to get dressed up. At this stage in the game, you and/or several people you know should be getting married. It is not acceptable to wear a clean pair of jeans or khakis and your Saturday golf polo to a wedding. Along these lines, it is no where near acceptable to wear a similar outfit to a job interview unless you are interviewing for a blue-collar job. Don't go drinking one weekend, take the money you saved, and buy yourself a respectable outfit.
• Sagging your pants. Why? No really, why? Why would you still be sagging your pants?
9. Not knowing how to cook and/or do laundry. Although you could get away with eating McDonalds and wearing the same clothes for weeks on end in college, this behavior is no longer acceptable. I'm not saying everyone needs to know how to cook a 3 course meal but you should at least know how to boil some vegetables, cook a chicken and grill a steak. As for laundry: whites go with whites, colors go with colors, don't use bleach except for whites, and stick to using cold water (it's easier).
10. Smoking Weed. This is something most people have at least tried and although there's no scientific evidence, I'm still convinced the majority of chronic pot smokers smoke to ease their anxiety of human interaction. If you are one of these people, they offer legal prescriptions to cure this. Smoking weed is something people do in high school and college because it is cheap and they don't know any better. And not that I condone drug use, but if you are 25 and still feel the need to experience some altered state of mind, then grow up and do some real drugs like coke.
11. Okay, as much as it pains me to admit, dating a member of the opposite sex that is under the age of 21. The general rule is half your age plus 8 years (e.g., 25/2 = 12.5 + 8 = 20.5). Take it from someone who's been there before, dating people that cannot legally drink really limits the activities that you can partake in (thank god, mine had a fake I.D.). Aside from the whole limited social calendar is the issue of maturity and the heart of this entire list. There is a certain level of maturity you develop between 19 and 25, and as someone of relative maturity the activities that one would partake in at 19 should seem ridiculous at this point. Stay away from it. Find someone that you can do more than just sleep with.
12. Decorating with Blacklights, Lava Lamps, and Glow-in-the Dark Anything. Sure this stuff was fascinating when you were a kid and it was trippy when you were drunk or stoned in college but if you're using any of these things to decorate your abode, you might as well just buy inflatable furniture (and no this is NOT cool)!!

Special thanks to Maggie, Manda, Sarah, Laura, and Moo for adding their 2 cents.